Animalistic

Animals are pretty awesome. Needless to say, though, animals become even more awesome when humans harness their power in numbers. Check it: Hotel for Snakes. I'm not a snake person, but I have to admit that 13 snakes is way better than one snake.

Human mastery of animals is vastly underutilized. Computers? Green technology? These things are not the future. Perhaps it gives me the internet, and thus lolcats, anywhere I damn well please, but I still get mosquito bites. ANIMAL IMPROVEMENT: wear sleeve of small birds that protect my body from flying insects and swoop onto local strays, providing cat-themed entertainment.

what a waste of biomass

Is there nothing squads of trained animals can't do? They say a roomful of monkeys would end up writing Hamlet, but I think we can all agree that they're more likely to write a hilarious bro-comedy starring Jonah Hill and Richard Gere. Though that movie basically writes itself, anyways. Point being, Hamlet sucks and who didn't love Superbad??? Boom. Animals.

Heads up, America. Tough times hard on your wallet? Then quit buying that expensive-brand meat at the grocery store and employ a flock of deadly hawks to hunt down and bring back gobs of delicious wildlife. Hell, you can start selling the leftovers at farmer's markets - city folk love that kinda stuff.