Blackout

After Jimmy Carter's hilarious cry of racism on some who oppose Obama's healthcare policies, the head of the GOP has now called out Obama's racist attempt to depose New York's governor.

Move over Anti-Semitism - your days as #1 name-smudger are over! Racism is the new, slanderously potent kid on the block.

After the p.c. years of the Clinton era, regular folks like you and me have their ignorant swagger back. I'm tired of having my feelings oppressed, too! If I wanna underscore my own racism, then I'll be damned if you're gonna stop me from pointing out someone else's.

fig. a - Racism

I doubt there can be any foe powerful enough to stand in my anti-racist way. Did you just cut me off walking through the subway doors? Maybe you shouldn't have that racist attitude. Blaring loud music on your SUV? Turn it down, Bull Connor.

No raise at work? Racist. Gum on my shoe? Racist. Calling me a cracker who should leave your neighborhood? Up for debate on the grounds that I don't want to get beat up.

Especially after another annoying-as-hell round of local Democratic primaries here in NYC, racism could be the key to my happiness. Wanna shake my hand every day in the subway when I go to work? I shoulda stood outside every day next to every candidate and called them out for who they really are - racists.