ALERT ALERT

Our office had pizza delivered yesterday so that everyone could have some fun grub while watching the inauguration. Free pizza is always a good thing, especially pizza that's not limited to the cheese- and/or pepperoni-only varieties.

But there was a hitch in the plan.

After loading up on some favorites, I hit the condiment section. Plastic cups had been filled with the regulars - crushed red pepper, oregano, parmesan.

I like red pepper and thought that parmesan would add a nice touch.

It would've, had it actually been parmesan.

c'est non un fromage

UGGHGHGHHHHH.

Garlic and I have a troubled past. Its pungence wouldn't be so bad except that, like Short Round, it hangs around long after you've enjoyed any semblance of its company.

The current matters were complicated by the fact that there was no parmesan available! If garlic is going to be at a pizza function, you'd assume the more-prevalent parmesan would make an appearance, as well. Not so.

Instead, I had to make do, watching the next president at his oratorical best while I surreptitiously tried to wipe garlic off my pizza with flimsy slices of green pepper. Fail.