Spam is Delicious

I've usually scorned junk email but now that the era of effective spam blockers is in full swing, I think I actually like it.

The days of phishing and convincing people to buy impotence medication are long behind us. Now, the attack du jour seems to revolve around random phrases and cultural flashpoints (one subject I received: "On J. Simpson's flash" - I wish!).

One or two weird, misspelled emails a day are just enough to avoid my wrath and pique my curiousity. I've started rifling through all of the messages in my spam folder and constantly stumble across my new favorite.


From: Frances Wong
Subject: Solution for people who can't afford a classy watch

Though I am interested in this solution, the sender-name is always a dead giveaway in spam. I don't know anyone named Frances Wong, silly! Maybe if you followed this guy's lead instead...


From: originaltonyp
Subject: Suck it.

True, tonyp is original, if nothing else. But don't insult me, idiot.


From: damir.s
Subject: Come now pay less! Pilules!

PILULES?!?!?!?? *double-click


I also appreciate those who keep trying the same route, again and again, in the hopes that my spam blocker will be fooled.

From: me
Subject: Sorry, resigning our dinner.
From: me
Subject: Our teacher died.
From: me
Subject: Where is this place?
From: me
Subject: Chief wants you in office.
From: me
Subject: Sending you delivery boy.

I like to pretend this is all just my inner dialogue, though maybe it's just because they sound like they're from a Samuel Beckett play. If any of these subjects end up being my dying words, consider my life a success.

They say that one in every few million or so spam emails actually generate money. When you can send out billions in a day, that must make for a pretty good living. To tell you the truth, I'm slowly becoming more and more tempted to see where exactly all these spam emails lead me to. I'm sure there's a fellowship out there that can pay my way through this.