Egeddes!

Sometimes, people just don't comprehend email, especially office email. My workplace has to be reminded about email etiquette on a monthly basis by the management/lawyers, which baffles me.

Some people write disparaging, "private" emails about co-workers, OTHERS WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU CAN SEE WHAT THEY'VE WRITTEN, and some send emails about their new child porn website. All are equally abhorrent in their lack of moral clarity.

Worse than these crimes, however, is something that I have to deal with on a daily basis: themed email backgrounds.

One person I know uses a dark green, pool table-esqe background. They have also correctly deduced that black is the most appropriate color for text visibility. Another person has started using an Anne Geddes theme. Anne Geddes. Think about that.

adding this to any email will add an extra level of clarity

If people are oblivious enough to not realize that office emails are, in fact, property of the company, then I guess throwing all conventions of business decency out the window should be expected. Yes, the workplace can be boring, but emails are not the place for you to convince me that babies in rose-laced baskets and bunny outfits are worthy of my attention.

An associate I know uses a lined-paper background theme. What are you telling me with this carefully chosen setting? That you remember the days of paper? Maybe it's the ironic charm of writing electronic mail on what appears to be paper! Who cares if it obscures and distorts the view of what's been written; the message you've sent with your scurrilous decorum has told me everything I need to know.

Maybe a return to paper wouldn't be so bad. I doubt many people would pay the extra money to have their memo stationary be printed up with some regrettable, seasonal theme that incorporates paper clips and elves.

hideously inappropriate under any circumstances, regardless

There's an immediacy in the e-age that probably leads people to not actually evaluating their office conduct. If you had to spend the time researching, ordering and storing your own stack of themed memo paper, you'd probably realize at some stage that Ziggy was a poor choice. If only you'd have chosen the eggshell white.