The Nose Knows

I've always somewhat ignored the special-services dogs, the ones that lead the blind or sniff for drugs. Kinda cool, yeah, but so what?

Well what if a dog could perform a much more obscure task with 100% precision? Maybe a task like...smelling for peanuts?

Ignoring this child's genetic predisposition for an early death, a peanut-sniffing dog sounds effin' sweet. Not so much that it can detect peanuts, per se, but that a dog can be trained to catch the faintest trace of any scent - even comical ones.

Immediately a fart dog comes to mind. Odd smell always hit the elevator on the way to the 25th floor? Your nose may be in disgust but your sensibilities will surely be at ease when your pooch discovers and summarily embarrasses the culprit. Ron in I.T. - you have been called out!

Devout Dog can smell a non-believer right away

This begs the question of what kind of reaction you'd want from the dog; would fart dog bark at the offender or assume a "pointer" position? Part of this is what the proper warning effect should be (to alert? to annoy?) though it also depends on what the dog's purpose is. To get a sense of things, let's examine


OLFACTORY-TRAINED DOG CATEGORIZATION

Dog: Boston Terrier
Scent Detection: Fancy pants
Warning: Immediate urination on perpetrator

Dog: Beagle
Scent Detection: Vegan Human
Warning: Vigorous humping of leg (undefined)

Dog: Pitbull
Scent Detection: Cheetos dust
Warning: Vicious mauling

Dog: Coon Hound
Scent Detection: The Blues
Warning: Soulful howl


More importantly, I can't believe that Disney hasn't made a live-action movie out of these animals - SNIFF TO THE RESCUE practically writes itself. Want a hint? Potsy (the opportunistic pug with a nose for robots and trouble!) will be voiced by Jason Alexander. You're welcome, Hollywood.