How many kinds of flu can there be? I thought there was just regular flu, which sucks as it is, but then they gave us avian flu. Now there's swine flu? I think some bored scientist out there just wanted to use another fancy word for describing a tawdry animal.
If people are going to conjure up fake diseases, though, I'd rather they focus on ones that we can all join in on. Calling into the office sick with random-animal flu these days doesn't really cut it - your bluff is immediately revealed.
Why not spread talk about a "pigeon flu"? Never heard of it, you say? Well, it's a rather nasty disease but not life-threatening. Best of all, it only lasts a day or two. Interested?
Pigeons get a bad rap as a filthy animal - after all, they live in conditions that are only marginally better than most homeless people, though this is mostly because the homeless can't yet live in trees. They're everywhere, too, so we're all susceptible. Throw in some urban myth about homeless pigeon breeding and you have an unbeatable combo.
a cunning move, my friend
Due to its non-existence, the Columbidavian Flu would probably dissipate in a matter of days. You'll have to seize the initiative on this one. Take that sick day as soon as you can before the epidemic retreats back into the unknown! People will gradually forget it ever happened, like the anticlimactic blackout from 6 years ago.
You will get not only a free day off but a weird-disease story to share with your pals, too. You're welcome.
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