huh? I don't know a damn thing about the Jonas Brothers. There shouldn't be much reason for me to know anything about them, but this being the age of hypermedia, I felt socially responsible for learning who they were.
I've discovered that they are far worse than I imagined. A preening group of entitled boys who owe their entire success to the Disney Channel? Surely, my urge to vomit can't stop here.
The "eldest" of the bunch, born after the first Gulf War, got his big break when a producer heard him SINGING IN A BARBERSHOP. What, was McGillicuddy's Soda Shop closed that day?
He went on to sing in several musicals, including the inevitable and distressing cameo as Tiny Tim in a production of A Christmas Carol.
Renee Zellweger called - she wants her squinty, soulless glare back
I guess I'm behind the times on this one, but their biggest claim to fame, aside from the shitty tunes/tv/movies/tours/awards shows/White House appearances (1 - I'll let you guess the president)/interviews, is their vow to chastity. Here's a shocker - would you believe me if I told you they were evangelically homeschooled?
They wear purity rings on their left hands as a sure-fire way to guarantee that their wicks are kept clean until marriage. Evidently the brothers "reportedly started wearing the rings when their parents, Denise and Kevin Sr., asked them if they wanted to." I think they mean, "after their parents discovered they had no penises."
another wholesome group with a happy ending
The good news is that honest working-folk are calling them out on it. Russell Brand, you've earned a pat on the back: "Well done the Jonas Brothers. Each wear a ring to say they are not going to have sex; I'd take them more seriously if they wore it around their genitals."
Keep up the fight.
"Hey, kids you want to wear this really cool ring instead of having sex?" *sigh* If only their parents had said yes to the ring.
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