Damn Hollywood Fatcats

Another perusal of Wikipedia today left me with this stunning fact: the 1987 summer hit Ernest Goes to Camp generated over $23 million in box office receipts.

And it only cost $3 million to make!

Granted, the Ernest series was a cultural Rolls-Royce, out-classing everything in its path. But Hollywood's always bitching about not making enough profits, so why don't they get their thinking caps on and start making quality pulp for our screens at the appropriate price?

a golden goose cut short in his prime

To wit: The Country Bears (2002) cost over $30 million to make but only generated $16 million at the box office. This begs the obvious question: how did enough people see this movie to generate $16 million in box office receipts?? Putting this flight of fancy aside, though, why did Hollywood OK this for production? And $30 million worth of production, at that.

Ernest - he's a simple man with simple dreams who is simply hilarious. Everyone can get behind that. The Country Bears? The shittiest waste of time at Disney World. I'd rather chug a bottle of ipecac and catch a seat on the Mad Hatter's Teacup Twirl.

Warner Bros. fiscal outlook for 2009

Obviously, throwing a few million bucks at a project is no big deal for Hollywood. Why not make six $5-million movies instead of one for $30 million? I bet at least a couple out of those are gonna be decent, or at least better than a bad theme park ride.

Don't wanna release one of 'em? Make it a Hollywood-only release party and laugh at your ridiculous excess! There is seriously no way this method will lose more money than the current format.