Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Important Things


I wish I was given the option to decide what free things I could have at work. As of now, office supplies, coffee/tea (via the crappy "pod" machine), and some soda is what I get. And I'm only mildly satisfied with the soda, to be honest. No Fanta? No Dr. Pepper? Blurg.

I don't really use a lot of supplies except some paper and post-its. I bring in my own tea and always forget there's coffee available. I nab about one soda every couple weeks.

In short, I'm getting robbed.


oh, these are...free? really?? OH GOOD!!!


The company's blowing all this cash over stuff that I hardly use and it's essentially coming out of everyone's paycheck, mine included. Bogus. Just stick to a few office necessities and get rid of our overpriced Wolfgang Puck machine that emulates the quality of water currently available in the Gaza Strip.

In return? Soft serve.

Not a day goes by where I wouldn't want some soft serve. Creamy, sweet and cool is not only how I'd describe Mary-Louise Parker, but also my taste in snacks. What can it possibly cost?? At least compared to that shitshow of a chef whose every "blend" of tea or coffee ends up being the same flavor. I don't think English has a word for it.

Hell, I'd bring my own cones and sprinkles. We don't need a multi-flavor machine; when one flavor runs out, you could easily replace it with a different one, just to mix it up! Imagine that.


it's really that easy


My heart suffers enough from the crushing ennui of post-post-postmodern urban life, so calories and fat be damned. It is categorically true that no bad memories have ever been associated with soft serve, so this is a guaranteed morale/cholesterol booster.

1 comment:

  1. even if you ate soft serve everyday i don't think you'd gain a pound, jambones.

    life is difficult!

    eat those steak sandwiches ma boy and everything gunna be alright

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