Most Americans aren't Catholic and have little to no ties to Ireland at this point. St. Patrick was yesterday's excuse, good for a few generations of meaning but now devoid of anything except drunken naps at 4 in the afternoon.
Where washed-up mall Santas go to die
America, get a grip. You want an excuse to plow through gallons of colored beer? You need an inane reason to take the day off of work? Do you have a hole in your life where a parade should be?
Have a day for something everyone can actually get behind. Let's celebrate grilled cheese sandwiches. Or go-karts. Actually, let's celebrate them both on the same day and pretend some shifty carnie combined the two long, long ago, starting a classic American tradition. A carnie named Bert.
I mean, come on...right??
Wanna drink? Hell, that'd go great with grilled cheese. Just dye it a more appetizing color than green. And Shriners in go-karts are an essential part of any parade. It'd be a crime if your job didn't let you have the day off at that point.
Carnie Bert's Day of Revelry. It'd be more legit than any Irish or other ethnic holiday. Obama should get on this.
I'm very disappointed in your lack of Irish pride.... way to be a disappointment. Do you feel this way about Cinco de Mayo too? say it ain't so!
ReplyDeleteThe only real bonus of being of Irish descent is that I blend in easily when I go to Britain. Though I actually really appreciate that.
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