You Gotta Be Kidding Me: 1, Common Sense: 0

Yet another person has been saved from the subway tracks. It does make for a good story, I suppose, and I'm glad people aren't yet soulless enough to treat others like pennies on the rails.

But this brings up a more salient point, as it appears that this is not an isolated incident - WHY ARE PEOPLE FALLING ONTO THE SUBWAY TRACKS?

Before I get into this, here are some quick facts about subway tracks:
- Subway tracks drop several feet
- They are very hard and provide no cushion whatsoever
- Their electrified third rails can kill you with a single touch
- Rats live there
- Trash lives there
- Pee lives there
- HIGH-SPEED SUBWAY TRAINS LIVE THERE

Shockingly, this must be news to many people. A recent study showed that there were 315 accidental subway deaths from 1990 to 2003.

The number of accidental deaths there should have been is zero.

...easily kill you if stepped in front of it. Who knew!

Maybe it's just me. I have a instinctive fear of large, metal objects moving at high speed. Whenever I step on the bright yellow, ridged warning strip next to the tracks, I get a little nervous and do my best to return to the unambiguously secure center of the platform. And the bum push? It's very real.

Many accidents evidently occur to drunk people. Are they not aware of the shiny, hurtling objects that traverse the large pits on either side of the platform? No amount of infused vodka could erase the facts on the ground. Lame excuse.

Then again, this is the country that spawned CAUTION: HOT labels for coffee and DO NOT USE NEAR WATER warnings on electrical appliances. Do we need a protective fence by the tracks and large signs that say MIND THE RAILBED? Maybe a drunk-people-only bench in the middle of the waiting area, too.



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